Don't You Know How to Dress Yourself?

As the parent to two young boys, I find myself thinking about what’s appropriate for them. There’s many levels of this, but recently I’ve been struggling with the proper level of instruction should I be providing. For instance, we’ve started to insist that Hunter start to dress himself. Now, I can sit there and walk him through the process – which right now he needs, even though he’s fully aware how to put on his own clothes – or I can just inform him that he needs to get dress himself and act as an adviser. I’m trying to do the latter, but that means that either that he chooses sweatpants and a striped shirt (regardless of the weather or situation), or he stalls and complains that he doesn’t know what he wants to wear and the whole process takes forever and we’re late for day care drop-off and I’m late for work (and can’t get in my morning exercise among other annoying things). In theory, of course, the best course of action is whatever it takes to teach him independence, as frustrating as it may be in the short term. After all, what does it matter if I’m late to work for a week, or that he wears nothing but sweatpants; the important thing is that he’s learning how to dress himself. That’s the goal.

Do accomplish this, you’ve got to remain patient, not let your extra baggage get in the way, and ensure that you respect the child’s feelings. It’s trickier than you think! This morning in the midst of a clothes-related tantrum, I was sorely tempted to do a bit of yelling (“What’s the problem? You need to get dressed anyways!”) or just dress him myself so that we could get moving… but doing so would negate the lesson. So the tantrum continued for a while and we left the house 20 minutes late. I missed the opportunity to get some exercise and I had to cut the dog’s walk short. But by sticking to my guns, hopefully tomorrow will be easier and the day after that even easier until Hunter not only wants to dress himself but is proud about it. Here’s hoping!